So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
