I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
