Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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