so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
