his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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