Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
