So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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