I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
