I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think your dad took our porno
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
