if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
