He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
