the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
