On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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