You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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