just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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