K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
