So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
