ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
