I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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