I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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