Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
