It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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