I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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