dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
