I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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