my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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