I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
