sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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