We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
