Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
