You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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