whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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