I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
did i just pee glitter
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
