Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
