idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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