so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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