I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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