their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
