Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
