Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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