i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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