Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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