There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Who died my cat blue again?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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