The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
