I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
