That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
