Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
