you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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