Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
