it was like eating out sand paper
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
