"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I cockslap morals
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
