Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
