You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
