Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
