I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
